The last message to you

A message to all my past relationships or anybody I have ever loved. This is all I have to say

I wish I could send this to you….

For once lets be here, lets be now, live up all that we have. Maybe I know that its not forever but still, only if I had a wish I would make this day last forever and a day more. I know that the distance between us couldn't be healed by anything and I know its the best for both of us to just disappear but you see maybe this passing time will take me with it.

You know since the day we met maybe I had a feeling of you not being real, you see the way you used and how no matter how messy things were they always appeared to be the right thing. I maybe knew it all along that this day will come one day I won’t wake with your call and my good nights won’t have a send button but still, it will always be nice knowing you for who you are or maybe were. The fact that every moment with you were the best they probably ever could be is probably a thing to cherish in itself. I still remember you cute smile, it really was a sight to behold how it starts with your eyes and then you nose and then you checks you lips your forehead and suddenly your whole face is smiling. I guess it will be one more of those things that will just stay with me forever.

I still wake up everyday do the usual chores take my coffee head on to work, nothing in that sense reminds me of you anymore but my mornings they are not with a good morning text, my coffee doesn’t have the same taste as the one we shared, work is more or less the same as it was I might be a little more busy lately but that hardly makes a difference anymore, honestly i kind of try being at office for long hours coming home hardly has a meaning anymore.

You see its not like I don’t understand anything or why what happened but maybe there are things I will never properly be able to comprehend everything, your absence being one of them. I am working on myself lately the storm has definitely set in the winds are now calmer than they once were all that remains I guess is a dreading silence one that encompass more emotions than love can ever think of.

Well, you see the reality often hits you in times you don’t expect. Standing alone in the terrace cold winds blowing at your face trying to save the present as it slowly but surely change into past and then disappear. Life will not be the same ever again, I know but there is only a little I can do to save myself.

I guess someday we will meet again maybe not as the people we were but as someone else maybe you too will be there and so will I knowing or not knowing won’t matter neither will make much sense but I will still know you for who you were. You see I have come over this I guess maybe our memories are just a sweet part of my dreams now, hard to believe that they ever actually happen. But, I guess I will fail in forgetting you and making you disappear; Life will go on the way it always did time will pass events will occur with both of us maybe separately this time. I have definitely accepted everything and I know moving on can often be hard and there is a portion of my heart which will always be lost with her but still like every other person there is comfort in going on the real pain lies when you sit down alone calmly and think about everything that happens and you see t for all it was, a beautiful story.

But, If in case you are ever reminded of my existence think about it and you will find me even if its the doors of the heaven.

P.S.- Some time ago, I came across a good web series that allowed me to delve and rethink everything about my relationship at large, maybe with a new perspective this time. And I wrote it as a message. I don’t know who it will reach or who will ever read it, but ya I am exploring writing as of now, so let’s see where it goes.